THE HOLY GRAIL
The Holy Grill is said to be the barbecue on which Jesus cooked burgers for his apostles at the Last Supper after the crucifixion Jesus was cut into meaty sausages small in length. These Jesus sausages were then laid upon the piping hot grill where the saviour's blood dripped from the tender chipolatas into the base of the barbie immortalising it as a major religious icon. Hold on I think I may have got something wrong with this story.
Oh! Holy GRAIL - what's one of those?
HUMAN COMBUSTION (SHC)
SHC has appeared in medical records since the 17th century and describes the state where a body suddenly ignites and burns without contact from an external flame or fire.
It is not known what causes SHC but it is more common with people who drink paraffin, smoke cigarettes and wear cheap shell suits bought from market stalls.
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS
This is an excellent subject for the moron paranormal investigator to study.
For no matter how many books you read, videos you watch, witnesses you grill or flying saucers you take a ride in you will not be one inch closer to finding out what the hell they are!
The best thing to do is write loads of ridiculous crap about them and someone, somewhere will believe you.
And believe me there's some damn gullible sods out there - Nazi spacecraft my arse...